tastefullyoffensive:

There are two kinds of parrots…

I know which kind I am

tastefullyoffensive:

There are two kinds of parrots…

I know which kind I am

LJ

Good Parenting: Exhibit 1 (overheard at work today)
6-year old: Mommy, why is that man dressed like a lady?
Mother: That is a lady. She was just born with the wrong body.
6-year old: How did that happen?
Mother: Nobody really knows. But she's working to fix it, and that's what's important.
6-year old: Okay! *runs up to obviously self-conscious woman*
6-year old: Hey! Miss!
Lady: ...yes?
6-year old: You look really pretty in your skirt!
Lady: Thank you!
*Kid skips back to her mom, and literally everyone in the vicinity smiles*
I'd just like to point out that it wasn't hard to explain this to a child at all...... Next excuse please?
theclearlydope:

Work it.
[via]

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to flow….

theclearlydope:

Work it.

[via]

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to flow….

u take a lot of selfies. do u think ur pretty or smoething? ur not
Anonymous

bottomupcas:

hi there, anon. i didn’t realize i took a lot of selfies. thanks for the info. so, your question was whether i think i’m pretty. you already answered that no, i am not. 

and i have to agree, anon. i don’t think i’m pretty bc i’m not.

i’m fat.

image

i always have a double chin.

image

i constantly look like i haven’t slept in a week bc of my dark circles

and, i always look sunburnt. idfk why

image

i have this white line across my nose that makeup can’t cover up 

image

i have tons of wrinkles on my forehead. like what the hell? i’m 25

also, it’s the size of fucking texas

image

i still don’t know how to smile in pictures bc i hate my fucking teeth

image

my feet are flat. my hips are huge. my boobs are weird. i am covered in stretch marks. my voice is grating. my ears stick out two miles from my head. i am always fucking sweating and i’ve been asked if i was pregnant more times than i can count. 

so, you’re right. i’m not pretty. i can’t stand the way i look.

which is why it’s so fucking important that i post “a lot” of selfies. bc, anon, you’d better fucking believe that if i look in the mirror that day and don’t cringe, i’m gonna take a fucking picture to save that tiny little second. and GOD FORBID i show the world that i posses a little self love every once in a fucking while. 

TO ANYONE READING THIS: DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED FOR LIKING THE WAY YOU LOOK—EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A SECOND. IF YOU LOOK NICE, YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING SELFIE AND YOU SHOW IT TO THE GOD DAMN WORLD BC THEY DESERVE TO SEE THE GOD/GODDESS YOU ARE!

that beard finally coming in? go ahead, bro. take a selfie.

you finally got that piercing you’ve been wanting? not really my style, but you’re fucking rocking it. take a selfie.

your boobs look awesome in that shirt? take a selfie.

you finally lose or gain that weight you’ve been working on? take a selfie.

your eyeliner look awesome? your new sunglasses make you look like  a celebrity avoiding the paparazzi? you killing that tux? you feel a tiny, rare level of self love? you always on a high level of self love? you just like your face? 

TAKE A MOTHAFUCKING SELFIE!

thanks for the question, anon. this one’s for you.

image

Good gal

tastefullyoffensive:

Previously: Cat/Bird Graph [x]

john-egberts-floating-arms:

rick-sanchez:

camiekahle:

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

I’m fucking dying

Really tricky search terms

…soccer is still unquestionably the most popular sport on the planet. But…it is past time to abolish FIFA. It is like a gangrenous limb that requires amputation before the infection spreads and the beautiful game becomes decayed beyond all possible recognition. Soccer is worth saving. FIFA needs to take its ball and go home.
Dave Zirin (via thesmithian)

Yes